can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
