So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
