All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
