I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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