They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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