I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
