i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
