Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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