he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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