Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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