A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
