you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
