Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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