real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Randomize
