We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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