Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
