Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
They took my balls.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
