HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Can you bring me the toilet please
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
