booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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