everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
