So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize