I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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