fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
