The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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