you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
