Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
