i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
