We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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