my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
