Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
high people should be assigned attendants
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
