I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
