How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
