we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
