Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
