I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
