You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
