It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
