Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
