I think I died a long time ago.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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