Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
