people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I licked your asshole in confidence.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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