What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
