Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you win again, gameday.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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