Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
