i jhust puked up my retainher.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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