We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize