I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
