I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
