If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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