I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
