And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
