Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
