whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
