I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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