"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
