tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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