I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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