I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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