Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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