ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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